Another one on the heels of yesterday’s post. This time, renewing our wedding vows and family angst over that. This is from “Notes To Stephanie: Middle Aged Love Letters And Life Stories”.
And what will our families think about us renewing our wedding vows? My mom asked why we were doing that. My sister had no negative comment. Who knows what my kids or yours think of the idea? Will all of them really be happy that we, God forbid, are happy and wish to do this? Or will they think it is silly? Or will they simply show up and say or think nothing one way or the other? Or even feel uncomfortable in some way that we cannot know? I have no idea right now; surely one could expect a buffet of emotional dishes to be served up during the event, even though such things may be kept from us out of being polite.
As you have asked before, why aren’t they happy for us? Well, I think they mostly are happy for us now. Either they have gotten used to us being together or they really like the fact we are a couple. I hope it is the latter but still I have my doubts about what some of our family really thinks I think you would agree. And as we have remarked to one another, they will expect us to agree with their choices for mates or relationships without any dissent being tolerated.
One way or the other we are a couple and will be until one of us dies, and afterwards even since the ties of family live on after its members pass on. They will need to get used to the idea of Jeff and Stephanie Turner as a couple, won’t they? Not Jeff Turner and Stephanie Long as it were before we wed. That era of our lives is gone forever. And good riddance to being single I say, being married is so much more satisfying in so many ways. And I should be a good thing to be married, and it is with us.
And therein lays the ultimate reason why they should be glad we are renewing our wedding vows, reenacting our marriage ceremony as it were. That we are happy together should raise their spirits not dismay them. Wouldn’t they want us to be happy for them if the roles were reversed? Maybe as they see us enjoying each other perhaps they will learn from our unintended example, that two people can be happy and love each other in spite of life’s problems and issues and our own personalities. That perhaps they could learn how to be happy with someone, knowing full well that no couple is a perfect match ever and that no one is perfect and without past mistakes, and also rejoice at our happiness.
And one day apply those lessons to their lives, by finding a good mate and a good relationship that we also could enjoy and be happy to see. Hopefully one day some of our kids will invite us to see their vows re-lived, and remember that in a way we taught them to do that purely out of our love for each other.
Jeff To Stephanie July 17, 2007