This haunting Note is from “Notes To Stephanie: Middle Aged Love Letters And Life Stories” which is my first book. The style is different from “Days Remembered” since I literally was writing the Notes to Stephanie.
An unnamed girl is sent into the cold, cruel city to sell matches by her equally cold, cruel father. She turns her income over to him and he beats her when he feels she has not sold enough matches. One night the girl, frozen to the bone, lights a match. A glorious Christmas tree appears, bright and blazing. That vision vanishes along with the match when it burns out. The second match she lights shows a splendid holiday feast – a Feast of Illusions. This, too, fades away when the match burns out. The final match she lights reveals her beloved, deceased grandmother. The girl runs to her, never to return to the cold city streets. The next morning, she is found, frozen to death in the street”.
My dear, you have been through many things in your life that were not so good. Nothing like what the little match girl you have identified with went through, since you are alive and well, but many tough things nonetheless.
Regardless of your tribulations, you have become a very wonderful person indeed. Your many great and admirable qualities are things I must always keep in mind and recognize above all else about you my Stephanie. Yes, you sometimes irritate me with your somewhat less than organized ways, but that is but a small thing to bear when weighed against your high morals, intelligence, and love for me, our kids & family, and human kind in general. In spite of the woes that befell you at various times past, those things did not make you sad, angry, or sour on life.
It seems that the opposite in fact has happened. You do see the glass half full, more than I do many times, and therefore you are blessed with a good and happy nature and a celestial light that shows your love of life in spite of its past bad times and the present challenges that confound us. And perhaps I have done the same thing too due to a different set of cards dealt to me by the dealer on existence’s poker table. But differently than you since I am such a “black and white” realist who looks on the glass half empty sometimes.
So in a way when we met, we both ran to each other like the little match girl ran to her grand-mother as the last match faded, never again to feel cold and pain but to know only love and comfort without woe or worry. The vast majority of the time our love brings each other in from the cold winds of life to a bright place where we can spend the rest of our lives. Safe, warm, and loved by the other. Surrounded by many good things that bring comfort to our sometimes roughly handled souls.
Jeff To Stephanie October 4, 2007